CH189 · Rewrite
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Chapter 189: Stars and Flowers

The stage was a board and a platform and no curtain. The cast had changed into their costumes behind a wooden partition. The props were, for the most part, borrowed furniture.

“This story takes place in the capital of a kingdom. Within the outer city, there lived a beautiful and kind-hearted girl…”

Irene walked on in a gray dress, her hair deliberately disordered, her face powdered with dust. The broom was real; she swung it the way a person who had spent years sweeping actually swings a broom, with the automatic motion of something done so many times it no longer requires thought. She cleaned the stage’s floor. She bent to scrub at a mark with the hem of her gown.

It was simple. The crowd was quiet.

Irene had spent every evening of the past week going through the performance in her head after the candles went out. The story was not complicated: a girl without a mother, bullied at home, whose native kindness attracted the attention of a witch, who gave her one evening at the prince’s ball and the chance at a life she could not have reached otherwise. Clear moral architecture. Easy enough to follow from any point in the square, even with no experience of theater.

What surprised Irene was May.

May had taken the role of the elder half-sister. She had offered it herself, which Irene had initially read as generosity and later understood was strategy — the sister was a juicier character, more technically demanding, the kind of role an actor with May’s capabilities could do more with than any amount of sympathetic leading-role restraint. When Irene had attempted to say something gracious about this, May had simply said: play the lead; you have the talent for it; and turned back to her own preparations.

Irene had spent the subsequent rehearsals trying to be equal to this statement.


Rosia, playing the witch, had her lines and then forgot two of them in sequence, which was entirely Rosia’s rate of error and therefore not unexpected. What happened in the crowd was unexpected: someone clapped. Then other people did. A kind of encouragement that no noble theater audience in Longsong Stronghold would have offered — you forgot your lines, you were mocked, you were replaced — but which this crowd, apparently, provided naturally.

Irene filed this and continued.

Then May walked on.

The rehearsal version of May’s performance had been controlled, professional, technically precise — the kind of acting that worked because every element was placed correctly. What walked onto the stage in the afternoon light in front of a thousand people was different. The control was still there but behind it was something that didn’t need the control to do its work, something that produced atmosphere the way weather produces temperature, without announcing itself.

Oh, take a look at that. Who is this?

The contempt in her voice was not performed. Or rather — it was performed so completely that the performance had become indistinguishable from the thing. The lofty bearing, the precise cruelty of the delivery, the quality of attention she withdrew from Irene as if withdrawing sunlight from a plant. Irene, across from her, felt the cold of it through her costume.

You poor wretch shall return without delay and wash my dress.

May pushed her. According to the script, Irene was meant to stumble gracefully and catch herself. What happened was that her feet found no purchase against the force of a woman who was not performing the push and she fell backward, elbow striking the stage boards, pain flaring up through her arm without the buffer she’d rehearsed.

She stayed on the floor and watched May move to center stage.

In the crowd: silence first, then the quality of silence that meant everyone in a large space was paying attention to the same thing. May was delivering her monologue — her character’s longing for the ball, her contempt for the constraints of her situation — and the crowd was not hearing a performance. They were watching someone be something. There was a difference, and the crowd, who had never seen theater before, could feel the difference even without having language for it.

“That’s worthy of Miss May,” Roland heard Margaret murmur beside him. “With a few words she’s made the character real.”

Irene, on the stage floor with her elbow still hurting, understood something about herself.

She understood, specifically, that she had been good at rehearsal. That in rehearsal her acting had been technically correct and emotionally present and had received May’s real approval, not the performed kind. But in rehearsal there was no audience, no consequence, no weight of being seen. And now that the weight was here, she had lost her footing in more than one sense.

She needed to stand up. May’s monologue was not long. Before the scene ended, Irene had to exit stage left, and the opportunity was narrowing.

Are you only on this level?

Not spoken. The edge of May’s skirt, passing close during the exit, swept across her face with a deliberateness that could not have been accidental. Irene looked up and met May’s eyes for the fraction of a second before she disappeared behind the partition. In that fraction: an instruction. Stand up. If you fall apart, you’ll ruin the play for everyone.

Ghent was already on stage with props for the next scene, and Sam, placing a bucket, leaned to her ear. “Next scene’s yours. Stay here. You can do it.”

It wasn’t in the script. Irene was supposed to have left before the scene change.

The scene changed around her — the living room becoming a basement, the furniture replaced by barrels and rattan baskets — and she sat in the center of it, motionless, as if she belonged to the composition, as if Cinderella’s stillness in the basement was the intention rather than an accident of failed stage management.

In the crowd: quiet. Watching.

By the time Rosia returned as the witch, with the dress and the carriage and the midnight warning, Irene had found something underneath the daze. Not a technique. Something more like the memory of why she was here — the years of wanting this, the specific wanting of it that had burned quietly for so long without a proper outlet. The stage was not the Longsong theater. The audience had never seen theater. None of that mattered in the way she’d thought it would.

She took the witch’s gift. Recited her lines with the attention she had spent a week building into them.

Then the whole cast walked on for the ball scene.

Ferlin was playing the prince. His face showed the mild suffering of a man doing his honest best with something he had not been trained for. His dancing, when May took his hand, was the dancing of a person being navigated rather than a person dancing.

But when Ferlin turned to look at her, before she had crossed the stage, before she was anywhere near the center of the scene — she saw his face change. Not an actor’s change. The change of a person who had stopped performing and was simply looking at the person they loved.

Is this the distance between stars and flowers, she had been thinking a moment before.

Then: No. A voice beneath the thought. You want to act. This is your chance. You may never be on the same stage as someone like May again.

She crossed the stage toward Ferlin, and the cornfield came back to her — the one along the Redwater, where they used to meet at dusk, the ears of wheat heavy, the light warm on the river’s surface. She let the stage fall away. There was only the field and the knight and the thing she had always been able to do in front of him, which was be completely herself.

“May I have this dance?”

“Of course you can, my lady.”

His smile was real. His dancing was still imperfect. None of this mattered because what was visible to the crowd — what produced the applause that started before either of them had finished the exchange — was not technique.

Irene went up on her toes and kissed the prince’s cheek, then pushed him away gently and ran.

Echo’s bells rang across the square and returned from the mountains, faint and multiple, layered into something that sounded like midnight.

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